88+ Priest Jokes And Funny Puns JokoJokes
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During world war II, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
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by Jay January 18, 2022 Priest jokes are often considered to be dirty or offensive for their off-color content. They are usually told in a teasing manner by children about priests, nuns, and other religious figures. Some adults tell priest jokes in an effort to be funny while others do it to make fun of religion.
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The rabbi says, "I am very transparent. I always take the offering and throw it in the air. God takes whatever he wants and whatever he does not want falls back down on me." What do we call a priest that becomes a lawyer? Father-in-law. Why are catholic priests called fathers? It is too suspicious to call them dad.
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152 priest jokes and hilarious priest puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about priest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. No profession is entirely exempted from the reach of humor, not even the solemn world of priesthood.
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The best priest jokes A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!"
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are debating who is the best at their job. They decide to each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. After a week, they meet up again. The priest, looking a bit roughed up, says, "I found a bear by the river and started talking to him about the Lord.
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Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Priest. (Priest who?) Priest open the door, I've come to bless your new home! What do you get when you cross a priest with a dressmaker? Someone that cries "Be gown, Satin!" Did you hear about the priest who gave his congregation noodles instead of wafers for communion? He was a Ramen Catholic.
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1. The curate and the Mountebank A priest is in the confessional and a penitent goes. -You're not from this parish, are you? I haven't seen you before. -No, Father, I'm a circus artist who just arrived. -And what do you do in the circus? -I am mountebank. -And what is that? -Wait for a demonstration.
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Conclusion: Best Catholic Priest Jokes: Holy Water Balloon: Why did the Catholic priest carry a water balloon to church? In case he needed to perform a "holy water balloon fight" during the sermon! Speeding Confession: Why did the Catholic priest become a race car driver? He could confess sins at lightning speed!
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Hilarious Catholic Priest Jokes curated just for you, like: What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common? They both give kids a little head.
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Yo mama so silly, she thought that the lord would not forgive her sins! A man goes to confession and he says: "Father, I am assailed by evil thoughts.". "We're all assailed by evil thoughts." says the priest. "It's the human condition. It's only a sin if you entertain them.". "Well, they rather entertain me.".
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Jokes About Priest Why don't priests solve math problems? Because they prefer to divide and conquer! Why did the priest become a chef? Because he kneaded a new vocation! How do priests communicate with each other? They use "pray-per" technology! What did the priest say to the comedian? "Holy laughter, Batman!"
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3 priests are out fishing on a boat.. One of them says "We should confess our sins to one another." The first one says "I have a gambling problem, I sneak out at night and gamble away all my money.. The second one says "I have an addiction to porn and can't stop looking at it." The third one says "I am a gossip and.
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Top 100 Priest Jokes: Why did the priest go to the gym? He wanted to exercise his "faith" muscles! What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law! Why did the priest carry a pencil and paper? He wanted to "draw" people closer to God! How do priests stay cool in the summer? They use their "pray-per" fans!
Funny Joke of the Day A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard
St. Peter: "The Catholic Church.. Never heard of it.. Wait, I'll check with the boss.". St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God. St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth.". God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of..
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A list of puns related to "Priests" The rabbit says "I think I'm a typo". 👍︎ 💬︎ 👤︎ u/AshamedTurtwig 📅︎ 🚨︎ A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit. 👍︎ 💬︎ 👤︎ 📅︎ 🚨︎ Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest 👤︎ 🚨︎ 👤︎ 🚨︎